Monday, May 6, 2013

Adoption Journey Continued

I have not written much about our adoption journey in a while.  Mostly because there hadn't been much to write about.  Everything was ticking along, investigations were being done, progress was being made, and Famous joining us by June looked promising.
This all kind of came to a halt about two weeks ago.  The US Embassy is asking for more paperwork that we don't have.  More paperwork that will be somewhat difficult to obtain in a country where structure and organization is not its strength.  This could delay the process by a month (best case scenario) or more.
Then, we learn that there seems to be some issues with those in power in Ghana suddenly deciding to be more difficult in regard to adoptions which could also potentially delay this process.
And, I have been reeling ever since.
I have felt confused, frustrated, angry, sad, and hurt.
In the midst of it all, I have realized something (again) about myself.  I really like getting my way. I really don't like when someone or something messes that up.  I really wanted Famous to be here by the end of this month or the beginning of next month because that is how I had envisioned it happening.  Of course, I also want him to be here because I am confident that he is supposed to be our son, and every moment that passes is another that we don't get to share in as a family.  But, if I'm being realistic, a whole lot of my frustration was wrapped up in not getting my way.
So, I am working on surrendering my plans to the Lord.  My plans that included Famous being here by the end of this month and starting life as a family of 5.  Let me be clear that I do not believe that the Lord is the reason for these delays that we are experiencing.  I do believe his timing is always perfect, but I also believe he hurts with me and wants Famous to experience love and compassion in ways that he isn't currently able to.  So, I think the delay is what it is and not orchestrated by the Lord.  However, the only way I can heal and receive peace is to loosen my controlling grasp and give that over to the One who knows me and knows Famous better than anyone.
So, where does that leave us?
Waiting.  Praying.  Hoping.
We are trying to push this forward in every way we can.  It hurts to think about our sweet boy being across the ocean from us.  We want him under THIS roof. I know there will be challenges and difficult moments once he is here, but my heart aches for him to be with us. 
I am also learning to trust the Lord more deeply and fully and hold onto my plans and my desires a little more loosely.
So, will you join us in pleading that the Lord will make a way?  And soon?  That is what we want, and we will be bold in asking.
I can promise you one thing...nothing is going to stop this momma from bringing that boy home. 

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